Fishing from My Backyard! Or, How I Spent My Summer Vacation

(No leukemia information in this post)

After a total of 4,350 miles up and back to our new (old) cabin in upstate New York with some extra running around visiting, and another 405 miles down and back to MD Anderson for my appointment with a side trip to Katy, TX, to visit a nephew and his family who just moved there a week ago, we are finally back home. Whew, it’s HOT here in Texas, 105 yesterday, 104 today and tomorrow about the same! It is predicted to be at or over 100 for at least the next ten days and we have had 28 days over 100 so far. It is the hottest summer on record thus far, following the hottest on record last year.

I have lots to write about, but I plan to break it down into a couple of somewhat smaller posts instead of one long novel.

We had a range of emotions on our trip and the first couple of days we even felt a little depressed with some buyer’s remorse over our cabin. However, for this post I will write about only positive things.

The weather was mostly fantastic, from our perspective. Here in Texas we have been experiencing a severe two year drought and hotter summers than normal. While we were at our cabin, the highest temperature was 75, some days never reached the 70’s and the nights were in the 40’s and 50’s. The morning we left, it was 45. Our cabin is on a small lake located up in the hills, so it is even cooler up there. We had a fire in the fireplace several mornings and the space heater going each morning. I would dress in warm sweats in the morning, change to short sleeves in the afternoons and back to sweats in the evening. We heard they only had three days in June that hit 80, and those were before we arrived. It rained every day but one, but also saw periods of sunshine most every day. The rain, sogginess and dampness were beginning to bother Cheryl some by the time we left, but it really didn’t bother me that much. I just wore water shoes out on our soggy lawn. We do plan to buy a humidifier for the cabin when we return for the entire summer next year. Most folks were complaining about how cool it was as they wanted summer temperatures in the 80’s, but for us it was a relief from the Texas summer heat.

We spent lots of time with family. We spent one night on the way and one on the way back with my brother Bob and his wife, Priscilla, in West Chester, Ohio. I told him it was the best bed and breakfast around. He fixed dinner and breakfast both times we stopped and we had a really nice visit with them and their daughters. Our first night in New York State we spent with my brother Jim and his wife, Barb. The next morning we visited with my mother in the nursing home before heading for our cabin. At the cabin, Cheryl’s sister, Diane was waiting with two of her grandchildren to help us unload the U-Haul we had towed up.Even though everything was left from the previous owners, we brought an extra sleeper couch and extra mirrored dresser we had here along with some personal items to make it more our place. We brought our grandson, Jimmy with us and that strong young man was a huge help to us the entire trip. He was extremely well behaved the entire time, even when we were running out and visiting more family and he probably would have rather stayed and fished. We got the U-Haul emptied quickly and Cheryl and Diane set about getting things straightened around and beds made.

Other family that visited our cabin at the lake were my Mom; Jim and Barb and one of their grandsons; my youngest brother, Bill and his adopted daughter, Ruthie; Cheryl’s brothers Randy; Larry; Bill and his wife Diane; Rick and his wife, Cheri and their granddaughter; Cheryl’s sisters Diane and two of her grandchildren; Janet; and Mary Jane and her husband, Dave. On the fourth of July we had a cookout with six of Cheryl’s family members and we played cards from 11:30 in the morning until 11 p.m. (I managed to sneak in a two hour nap on the couch right beside the noisy card table.) We watched the fireworks around the lake from our front picture window while we played cards. We also went and visited with lots of other family at a graduation party for a grand niece and a surprise birthday party for Cheryl’s brother, Bill.

When my brother Bill came up from NYC, he and his daughter spent the night with us and the next day he went to the nursing home where my mom is a resident and entertained the residents. He is a singer, dancer, and actor and has been in at least 11 Broadway shows, many more off-Broadway shows, national and international tours, and has even done his own award-winning cabaret act in NYC. His most recent show, Guys and Dolls, closed the week after he was on the Tony Awards show. Hmm, that made it sound like it was his fault the show closed. It wasn’t. He sang ten songs at the nursing home and even danced with one of the residents who pushed her walker aside and did a little jig with him. He obviously sings very, very well, but his interaction with the residents was very special as he bantered with them, answered their questions, hugged, posed for pictures and just brightened their day. Being close to family was a reason for looking to purchase a summer place and we obviously accomplished that goal.

Another goal we had was to purchase a place on a lake so I could fish. All we could afford was an older cabin on a small lake and I was a little concerned the fishing would not be that good. I was very wrong! There are lots of lily pads around the lake which make great fish habitat (but are a detriment when right in front of the cabin). It is a private lake with no public fishing and the lake association stocks it every few years with small and large mouth black bass.

Our first day was very busy setting up the cabin and cleaning (well, Cheryl did most of the cleaning). The second day was busy shopping for supplies we needed and we drove to my brother’s house with the U-Haul we still had and picked up an entertainment center and TV that had belonged to my folks. They came back with us to help us unload and set it up and then had supper with us. Jimmy had been out a couple of times fishing in a paddle boat that came with the cabin and he had caught some fish and even a turtle. But I still hadn’t been out on the lake and I was getting anxious to go. So on the second evening after my brother and his wife left, Jimmy and I finally went out in the small aluminum row boat that came with the cabin. There is a small sign attached to the back of the boat that says, “U.S. COAST GUARD MAXIMUM CAPACITIES 2 PERSONS OR 300 LBS.” Now Jimmy and I are both, umm, large and we are over that maximum. However, in smaller print it says, “445 lbs. persons, motor, gear 7 H.P. motor.” Since we didn’t have a motor – not allowed on that lake – and only two fishing poles and one tackle box, I calculated that we were pretty much OK. Besides, we were not on the coast where the Coast Guard patrols, I was in the Air Force so maybe it didn’t apply to me, and I am pretty sure my scales lie to me about my weight anyway. My first fish was a yellow perch that was about 8 or 9 inches long, not bad for a perch, which is a pan fish. In West Texas they call other fish perch, but here is what a yellow perch looks like: We decided to row to the other side and try our luck there.

When we got to the middle of the lake, I thought it was a good time to teach Jimmy how to row. He came over to the middle seat where I was and sat down to my left. I started to move to the rear seat where he had been. Of course the boat rocked some. Jimmy did the right thing and leaned to the left to balance the boat. However, he immediately thought, “Oh, oh. Grandpa might fall in I better help him.” He half stood up and leaned/moved over to help me. Over 400 pounds on one side of a boat, a very small boat, a very small boat that doesn’t hold that much, a very small boat that says not to exceed two people or 300 pounds, and physics takes over. The boat leaned to the right. Well perhaps leaned is too weak a term. Actually the seats became vertical to the lake and the sky. Well, the entire boat tipped to the side and went vertical. Now when the vertical pitch occurs, everything that used to be comfortably seated in the boat – oars, fishing poles, life jackets, new tackle box…and occupants – are no longer comfortably seated, but are pitched into cold water. Jimmy went in head first and I gracefully slid off the seat into the water. The boat went back upright but now it was half filled with water and with none of the other items. Jimmy started to panic, but he did grab one of the life jackets. I grabbed all of the other important items – oars, fishing poles that were somehow still floating and tackle box – and got them back in the boat. I also got Jimmy calmed down and told him we would be OK. Jimmy wanted to turn the boat over because he had seen that in a movie. I convinced him that was not a good idea. We held onto the side of the boat and decided we could swim it in. We paddled and kicked for about 15 minutes with some rest periods, but I couldn’t see we were making any real progress. It was getting towards dark and there was nobody else on the lake. The evening was too cool for folks to be sitting outside so no one saw us. We had tried to get back in the boat, but of course it tipped up again. Then I realized if I had Jimmy go to the other side and I held my side down, he might be able to get in. He went over and pulled himself right up and in. Now it was my turn. Since I have had several years of a lot of steroids, I don’t have a lot of muscle strength – too bad they don’t use the type that are supposed to build muscles. Between my weak muscles and my bad back, I couldn’t get myself up and in and Jimmy couldn’t come to help because the boat would tip up again. So, I taught him how to row while I hung on to the side. At first there was lots of splashing of the oars but he soon got the hang of it. Obviously while hanging on to the side of a boat and now hoping no one is watching, one doesn’t think too clearly. I thought Jimmy was pulling too much with his stronger right arm and about every fifth pull of the oars I had to tell him to pull only with his left arm to correct our direction. AFTER we got to shore it dawned on me it was because I was hanging on to the side and creating drag. If I had gone to the rear of the boat it would have been easier for him to row and keep on a straight course. We were almost to the shore to the point were I could stand when I moved to the back of the boat as he came closer to the dock. At that point Cheryl came out and said, “John Wagner, you get out of that water right now!!” She said she saw us from the window with Jimmy rowing and me in the water and immediately had figured out what happened and was trying to lighten the moment. Umm, I didn’t find it that funny at that moment and didn’t realize she was kidding.

Because Jimmy had taken us right into a floating bog that occurs when lilies die and decompose, my shoes and pants were a little, well, a lot dirty and smelly. Even the pockets had filled with muck. Cheryl wanted us to strip in the yard and get the clothes off before coming into the cabin she had been cleaning for two days. I didn’t think that was such a great idea since we hadn’t even met all of the neighbors yet and that was not the initial impression I wanted to make. Actually it wouldn’t even be the last impression I would want to make. We compromised and I stood on the little porch by the door and she wrapped a blanket around me as the clothes came off. I then headed for the shower to warm up.

Of course we have laughed a lot about this since then. Before going out on the boat, I had the foresight to take everything out of my pockets before we went out, except for the very special pocket watch my grandson Jonathan had given me. It stopped working after it filled with water and the circuitry short-circuited and fried. Upon our return yesterday, we were able to find a replacement. Jimmy now has a story to tell his grandchildren some day. For some reason whenever we went fishing after that, Jimmy took the paddle boat while I went in the row boat. We would stay fairly close to each other as we fished and talked. He felt much safer that way.

Over the next week and a half we caught lots of fish. When I was using night-crawlers (large worms) I caught a bullhead that was about 13 inches long and many of some of the largest bluegills and sunfish I have ever seen. That day I was brave and took the camera out with me on the boat and got a picture of one of the bluegills. You can see that is almost as long as the boat seat is wide.

Here are a couple of other pictures I took while out on the lake:Looking towards our cabin. Small red spot, second from right.

Our cabin taken from the same spot as the first picture, but using the zoom feature. You can also see the red storage shed to the right of the cabin.

Sunset on the Lake Gerry.

Our last day there, I caught the largest black bass I have ever caught and landed. As soon as it hit the lure and I hooked it, it did the bass-leap into the air to try and shake the hook. It was fun landing him. I lost one larger when my line broke at Lake LBJ in Texas, but that doesn’t count. Unfortunately I didn’t have my camera with me and since I do catch and release, I didn’t have a stringer or any way to keep it alive so I could get a picture. I estimate that it weighed close to eight pounds and was 23 to 25 inches long.

During our stay, we saw other folks catching large bass and very large pickerel. For the 4th of July, the Lake Association held a fishing contest. I didn’t hear the winners for the adult division, but the two largest winners for youth went to a little girl and a little boy, both about 7 years old. One caught a 23 inch black bass and the other caught a 21 inch pickerel. One young man caught a 13 inch crappie. I didn’t enter the contest because of all the company we were having. One night it was a little late to go out in the boat, so I sat in a lawn chair and fished from shore over towards where my neighbor had cleared out his lily pads and right on the edge of ours. I caught a few fish. I came in and said to Cheryl, “How great is this? Fishing from my own back yard!” Obviously my “good fishing goal” was filled at this lake. I can’t wait to get back there next year and do lots more fishing. I will be using an electric trolling motor which is allowed on the lake. I plan to take a tape measure and fish scale, too. Oh, and maybe take a waterproof camera or at least a waterproof bag for my camera.

Later I’ll talk about some of the frustrating things of our money-pit…uh, summer cabin.

Happy Mother's Day

(Note: There is nothing about my leukemia or lymphoma in this entry)

There are several special mothers in my life, but four are particularly close to me – my own Mom, my wife, and both my daughters.

I wanted to write something special to honor the mother of my children who taught the girls, through example, how to be great mothers in their own right. And I wanted to honor my own mother who is 94 and just moved into a nursing home this year. I had the brilliant idea of writing an original poem. I figured nine or ten stanzas would be pretty good. I would write one for each of them. Umm, not such a brilliant idea. I now remember why I hated writing poetry back in high school, almost 50 years ago. I can’t do it! After many false starts, here is the miserable result before I finally gave up:

TO MY WIFE, CHERYL
You are the Mother of my children
Who now have children of their own.
So now you are a grandma
From the seeds of which we’ve sown.

You showed them how to do it
How to love without condition.
And now they show that kind of love
To their own with such tradition.

TO MY MOM

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue
Mom you are so great
And that is why I love you!

Umm, can you tell it was late by the time I got to the second one?

However, my feeble attempts did cause me to think about both of these wonderful women and how much they mean to me. I wish I knew how to put those thoughts into meaningful poetry. I decided to see if there was anyplace on the web I could go for inspiration. I figured I couldn’t directly copy something without permission, but perhaps it would get some of my own creative juices flowing. What I found was a site with poetry that actually encouraged you to cut and paste and put into cards for your mom. So here are a couple of the poems I found meaningful.

This first two are for both my wife and my mom:

"Happy Mother's Day"

“Happy Mother’s Day” means more
Than have a happy day.
Within those words lie lots of things
We never get to say.
It means I love you first of all,
Then thanks for all you do.
It means you mean a lot to me,
And that I honor you.

But most of all, I guess it means
That I am thinking of
Your happiness on this, your day,
With pleasure and with love

By Kay Hunt


*********************************************

No Love like a Mother's Love

There is no love, like a mother's love,
no stronger bond on earth...
like the precious bond that comes from God,
to a mother, when she gives birth.

A mother's love is forever strong,
never changing for all time...
and when her children need her most,
a mother's love will shine.

God bless these special mothers,
God bless them every one...
for all the tears and heartache,
and for the special work they've done.

When her days on earth are over,
a mother's love lives on...
through many generations,
with God's blessings on each one.

Be thankful for our mothers,
for they love with a higher love...
from the power God has given,
and the strength from up above.

By Jill Lemming

This last one is especially for my Mom and for all Military Moms who may read these words. They are special ladies. Although I returned home safe, many sons and daughters have not. When I joined the Air Force, my Mom cried. When I first went overseas, my Mom cried. Each time after when I left to go overseas, Mom cried. I didn’t understand. That is I didn’t understand until our oldest daughter first moved away to a different state to join her military husband and then I understood just a little. However, when my youngest daughter called me from Dallas and told me she was taking her physical and was enlisting in the Army, I truly understood.

MILITARY MOMS

This year on Mother's Day
We should think of offspring lost
And Mothers of all those Troops
Who paid the ultimate cost.

They've watched Sons and Daughters
Sent off to a foreign land
To fight wars and give their all
In some conflicts so ill planned.

But no matter what the reasons
They've always stepped up to the line
To give their lives for Freedoms
Enjoyed by all of yours and mine.

We must Honor all those Mothers
Of all those who have Served
And Sacrifices that they made
With our, "Thanks!", so well deserved.

It takes a very Special Lady
To let Her Child go off to War
Or just to join the Military
With the pride and fear and more.

There's too many Gold Star Mothers
And if you might know of one
Please send Her a special wish
To praise Her Daughter or Son.

Military Moms are the Greatest
With a strength beyond compare
Who hope and pray their loved one
Comes Home safe, from over there.

So, let's keep them in our thoughts
And hope their prayers come true
All those Moms and all those Troops
Who stand Strong and Proud, and True.

By: Del "Abe" Jones

God bless you Cheryl and Mom and Happy Mother’s Day! Thank you both for being terrific mothers! Happy Mother’s Day to all moms reading this. You have the most important job in the world.

Thanks A Lot, Carly!

Well, I read Carly’s Blog (Just Carly) and she tagged me. Apparently this is a game a bunch of blog-writing ladies play. They make up lists of things, tag each other and then the tagged lady must complete the list on her blog. Since I am home all day, I think Carly has made me an honorary blog-writing lady. She actually tagged me twice before. Once last November but I pretended I didn’t see it and I have felt guilty ever since. Is that a sin? Is it a lie if I didn’t actually tell her I didn’t see it? The other time was back in October and I really didn’t see that. I did a search of “John” on her blog and found it. So no guilt and no sin involved in that one. But now I have seen all three. In fact, I was going to ignore them again, but I might be awake all night worrying. Carly goes to my church, even though I have not met her yet, and she makes nice comments on this blog. Perhaps I have subconsciously avoided meeting her because I am feeling so guilty for not completing the tag lists. Guilt may negatively affect one’s immune system. I don’t know that for sure, but I can’t take anymore chances. So, Carly, here are my answers from the latest tag and also from the two tags last year. I am doing this so I can sleep at night.

8 Things I Look Forward To
1. All our grandchildren graduating from college – the last one in 21 more years.
2. Our grandchildren all having good jobs they are happy doing.
3. Growing older…and older and older.
4. Leaving on vacation June 22 to our cabin in NY.
5. My wife’s retirement so we can spend all summer together at our cabin in NY.
6. This school year to be over.
7. A certain situation to be resolved in a good way.
8. Heaven – but I am willing to wait

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Got my grandson up, made him breakfast and got him off to school.
2. Watched Ellen.
3. Took a nap.
4. Read Blogs, email, visited CLLForum and CLLCfriends sites.
5. Took a nap.
6. Watched TV.
7. Took a nap.
8. Fixed dinner then took a…never mind. (How sad)

8 Things I Wish I Could Do
1. Not need a nap.
2. Write entertaining Blog entries – always.
3. Go on a cruise to Alaska.
4. Go to Hawaii.
5. Ensure everyone I know makes it to heaven.
6. Ensure my wife, kids and grand kids are always healthy and happy.
7. Cure all cancer.
8. Have to call the doctor after four hours. (Think about it.)

8 Shows I Watch
1. Ellen
2. The Mentalist
3. Criminal Minds
4. NCIS
5. CSI NY
6. CSI Miami
7. CSI Crime Scene Investigation
8. House

8 Bloggers I Tagged
If you're reading this......TAG!

From when I was tagged last November:

8 Shows I Love to Watch:
1. Flashpoint
2. Law and Order
3. Law and Order: Criminal Intent
4. Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit
5. Lie to Me
6. Bones
7. Southland
8. Numbers

8 Restaurants I Love:
1. Johnny Carino’s Italian Restaurant
2. Texas Roadhouse
3. Logan’s Roadhouse
4. La Margarita
5. Fuddruckers
6. Cracker Barrel
7. Luby’s
8. Little Red Wagon Hamburgers

8 Things That Happened Today:
1. Got my grandson up, fixed him breakfast, got him off to school.
2. Watched Ellen.
3. Took a nap.
4. Read email, Blogs, visited CLLForum, CLLCFriends sites
5. Went out and edged the lawn – aha, fooled ya, didn’t I?
6. Sat in the chair and caught my breath and cooled down and caught my breath -- for an hour.
7. Got a shower
8. Wrote about 8 stupid things I did today and yesterday and all the crime shows I watch and the restaurants and my hopes and my…Oh, wait, you know all that, don’t you? …and then took a nap.

8 Things I am looking forward to:
1. – 8. See above from the other list

8 Things On My Wish List:
1. My grandson to learn how to edge the lawn
2. A flat screen LCD HDTV
3. This laptop to stop acting wonky
4. A new desktop computer
5. Delay more chemo for another year
6. Not to have to do too many repairs on our cabin in NY
7. Spend many retirement years with Cheryl
8. Finally, I wish I would have to call the doctor after four hours

8 People I tag to do this on their blog:
I’m not spreading the guilt this time

From when I was tagged last October:

Carly tagged me to blog about my hubby's favorite things. so here goes...
Umm, umm, umm, I was in the military. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

OH, OH, I just read the rules of this tagging business:
The rules are:
1. Mention the person(s) that tagged you. (I was tagged by Carly)
2. Complete the lists of 8's.
3. Tag 8 other bloggers.
4. Tell them they have been tagged.

Look at rule #4. Carly didn’t tell me! I bet she tagged a different John. John Smith, or John Doe or John McCain. Good grief. I probably wasn’t Tagged!!!!! All those months of feeling guilty for nothing. Well, after all this work I am posting it anyway. And I won't need to avoid Carly at church.

Thank You Mr. President – I Have Been Stimulated – A Little!

Wow, I couldn’t believe it, President Obama must have read my Blog, I thought. On my statistical feedback page I didn’t see Washington D.C. listed, but I bet he was one of my visitors listed as being from an unknown location. Certainly the President must travel around the blogosphere in stealth mode. National security, you know.

Regular readers will remember my post earlier this month (click HERE to read) where I put forth my personal stimulus package proposal so I could hire maid service to take care of my dusty house. Well, one day this week I brought in the mail and tossed it on the counter in the kitchen without looking at it and went and did something important. Not sure what – perhaps a nap, deep contemplation about needing to dust, or trying to decide if I want to join Tweeter or just stay a twit. I know it must have been important. Later that afternoon I went to the kitchen to start dinner, or get a cookie, don’t remember which, and there on the back of one of the letters was stamped “IMPORTANT: Economic Recovery Payment Information.” I almost passed out from excitement as visions of happy maids dusted in my head.

OOPS, my wife, reads this Blog. Here is the real vision of happy maids in my head, dear:

Anyway, I tore it open, expecting to see my $75,000 check so I could hire my maid service for the next ten years. After all, I had to bend and tear off both sides at the perforation. It had to be the check. My heart sank when I saw there wasn’t a check. The happy maids in my head stopped dusting and just stood there, waiting expectantly. My heart began to sore again as I my eyes moved to the bolded statement in the second paragraph: “You should receive your one-time payment by late May 2009. You do not need to take any action to get this payment.” I whooped and hollered and danced around the room…well limped around the kitchen. The maids went crazy, dancing around with their feather dusters and my ears were tickled till I giggled.

Finally after two limps around the kitchen, I had to sit down, catch my breath, look up the happy maids’ phone number in the yellow pages, and finish reading the details of the letter. The first sentence in the first paragraph said, “Good news!” They got that right! I was smiling ear to ear – even while huffing and puffing. But wait…what’s this? What did that say? I had to read it twice to be sure.

“The economic recovery bill that President Obama signed into law in February 2009 provides for a one-time payment of $250 to Social Security and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) beneficiaries.”

What? $250? Only $250? And EVERY old person is getting this? I’m not special? And Congress will probably raise my taxes next year by $350 to pay for it. The extra $100 to cover mailing and handling with an extra piece of bacon thrown in.

The maids in my head stopped dancing and dusting and sat down and started smoking cigarettes. At least I think they were smoking because I thought I saw smoke coming out my ears.

I went over to the coffee table in the TV room and started doing the math in the dust. I finally decided I could have the maids in one time in May, one time in July, skip cleaning the guest room where only my granddaughter Holly occasionally sleeps, and still be able to tithe $25. Not the weekly service I was looking for, and maybe only two maids instead of three will show up, but still better than the dusting I am doing now every three…or four…or five…months. Maybe in August or September I will start chemotherapy again and I can play that card as a reason for not dusting. That should last six to eight months, at least.

Side note: I had my granddaughter, Holly, over for the day two weeks ago on Spring break. I bribed her. She dusted the three main rooms and then I took her to the movies that afternoon. We saw "Hanna Montana: The Movie." Please don’t tell anyone. We were walking out and she said to me, “See, Papa, I told you that you wouldn’t be bored. That was great, wasn’t it?” The usher standing at the door thought it was very funny. The next day I dusted our bedroom and most of the places she missed. Cheryl pointed out the places we both missed. Holly and I missed the coffee table in the TV room. And several other places. Holly will be dusting the guest room in May and July. I’ll keep the door closed.

I haven’t lost total hope yet. Perhaps when I get back from my monthly blood test Monday there will be an important letter from the White House in my mailbox. I can picture myself bending and tearing the perforated sides and a check for $75,000 will flutter into my hands. I sure hope so. So does Ellen. So do the poor happy maids and their little starving children.

How Did YOU Find Me?

In September 2007, almost two years after starting this Blog, I added a counter to see if anyone was actually reading this and if so, how many. I started off by setting the count at 100 because I didn’t want to be embarrassed if it sat at zero, or at least under ten, for months. There is an option to put a blocker cookie for myself so it won’t count me every time I come to the blog or post to it. I contemplated not blocking myself so if the number stayed low I could keep visiting myself to get the count up. Hmm, that almost sounds illegal. But I did set the blocking cookie so my visits don’t count.

I am amazed, and humbled, at how many people are reading, well, at least visiting this site. As of earlier this morning, 15,000 visits in the last year and a half! As time goes by, the number of daily visitors increases. I am now averaging 47 visitors a day and Easter Monday it was 85. Because so few folks actually leave comments, this is a way for me to know if people visit. Of course, in comparison to some of my fellow bloggers, this is a relatively small number, but I am still amazed. (Perhaps some of my fellow bloggers keep visiting their own Blog to drive the numbers up – HA!) To keep track of the numbers, I chose the free version of StatCounter. You can see the actual count at the bottom of the far right column of this Blog. The free version limits the information it gives me to the last 500 visitors, but it still tells me much.

Although I can’t collect personally identifying information (and I would have no need to do that), there is a lot of information I can see. For instance, it shows the country and often the state and city visitors come from – although it is not totally accurate as it depends where the Internet provider’s server is located. When I first started using the counter, there was someone from South Africa that checked in fairly often. My youngest daughter would read something I had written and then complain that the person in South Africa knew about it before she did. Out of the last 500 visitors right now, 279 are from the USA. The others, in alphabetical order, are from:
Antigua and Barbuda,
Australia,
Botswana,
Bulgaria,
Canada,
China,
Denmark,
Egypt
France,
Germany,
Ghana,
Hong Kong,
India,
Ireland,
Israel,
Italy,
Japan,
Malaysia,
New Zealand,
Philippines,
Poland,
Republic of Korea,
Russian Federation,
Saint Kitts and Nevis,
Saudi Arabia,
Serbia and Montenegro,
Sweden,
Taiwan,
Ukraine,
United Arab Emirates,
United Kingdom,
and… South Africa! There are also 16 visitors who are from unknown places, somehow surfing in stealth mode, I assume. You can’t imagine how humbling and overwhelming it is for me to realize that people from all over the world have read or are reading my Blog. I am ashamed to admit there are two or three of those countries listed I would have difficulty finding on a map.

StatCounter also tells me how folks get to my Blog. Many come from clicking links on other sites and Blogs such as ACOR, CLL Forum, CLL Christian Friends, and many of the Blogs listed here in the right column, along with a few others not listed. Many just come here directly because they type in (or have bookmarked) the address. It tells me there was no referring link.

However, a great many, almost half, arrive as a result of searches on Google and other search engines. These are the folks that give me pause because I realize folks are coming here looking for answers and information to help them with their disease. All I can do is write about my experience and sometimes give links to other places with more help.

99.9% of the searches have to do with CLL or SLL. I know this because I can actually see what is put into the search engine and it also tells me which page, or post, the visitor was directed to. The most popular, by far, other than the normal home page, is the post on itching because so many folks are searching for answers concerning itching, rashes, and swelling with CLL. Just about every itching body part with CLL has been searched. Of the last 500 visits, 128 were directed to my post about itching. I just wish I had definitive answers for those seeking itch relief other than to say go to a dermatologist and get checked out. In my case I suspect my first huge bout with itching and rash was a delayed Rituxan reaction and then the last big bout may have been from formaldehyde in new jeans. The second most popular post is one I wrote back in 2005 about treatment options. Until I wrote the itching post, the treatment option post was consistently the most popular. The fatigue post and the first time I wrote about IVIg infusions are also popular.

Some of the search terms are heartbreaking as people are dealing with serious issues for themselves or their loved one. Some search terms are funny, and a few searches I wonder how they got directed here. I have been thinking of writing about this subject for several months, so I have been collecting the search terms used to get here. Let me give you some examples of the more unusual ones, typed just the way they were put into a search engine, followed by my comments:

Cinnamon/CLL – well that is a different flavor of the disease, I guess. This was searched for several times.
Leukemia back pain burning tingling feet vomiting – the poor fellow is really ill if his feet are vomiting.
I’m a guy I want to modeling – and you are looking to me for advice? Have you seen me???
CBC done six months ago could I still have leukemia – Sure could, my blood test was done three weeks ago and I still have it.
How much pain would you suffer to get to heaven – you don’t have to suffer pain to get to heaven. See my Easter post from this year.
Lower back itch spleen – That is a problem. Your spleen is up front, on the left, protected by your ribs – unless it is enlarged from CLL and then it extends below your ribs.
CLL oxygen exercise – you are asking ME about exercise? You really don’t know me, do you?
Numb butt – Call me any more names and I will have to ask you to leave.
Numb scalp leukemia – Well that is better than the last one.
Lymphocytic leukeamia in horses – Well, I have been called one particular end of a horse, but I don’t know about this.
Can sleeping problems, bruise type mark, dry lips be indicator of leukemia? – I guess so, but maybe you are snoring with your mouth open and your wife keeps punching you.
Unexplained painful spots in mouth before my period? -- Umm, not my area of expertise.
Golden heart god saw you getting tired 1996 – Is LSD still popular or are you on something else?
The lymph glands in my neck really hurt and a pin when touched on my back in between my shoulder blades what is this a sign of? -- That someone is sadistically torturing you with pins.
Stress test radioactive grandson – WHAT? If my grandson was radioactive, I would need a stress test, too.
Small lymphocytic lymphoma how to make it worse – Why, oh why would you want to make it worse? I am trying to make it better!
Rituxin made of ground up rats? -- Ewww. Not really. But Rituxan is made somehow with mouse proteins or Chinese hamster ovaries – really.
Los vagas cll girls – Man, I bet you were disappointed when you got to my blog. It would help if you learned to spell or at least watch the typos.
The wonderful, fabulous author John Wagner who is loved and adored by his wife and kids and grandchildren – OK, OK, I made that one up myself.

I have a lot more examples, but you get the idea. The sad thing is because I have used a lot of different terms in this post, many more folks will be directed to this page. If you are one, I hope I didn’t make you angry as you searched for legitimate answers.

For those searching for CLL/SLL answers, let me give you a couple of tips. First of all, be sure to check out Chaya’s sites. If you are newly diagnosed, start with http://www.clltopics.org/ and on the main page look over to the right for the link for newly diagnosed. There is a wealth of information there. Second, search Dr. Terry Hamblin’s Blog HERE. David Arenson’s Blog HERE is also a wealth of information. Then, try a search of CLL sites, HERE. Enter your terms and it will search many CLL related sites. If you see something in one of my posts, look at the labels at the bottom of the post and click a word and all posts related to that label will pop up. Finally, you can always do a general search my Blog and see if I have written anything helpful. Look up at the top left of this page. Type your terms into the box and click on “SEARCH BLOG.” Of course, if you are not already a member, I would invite you to join http://www.cllforum.com/ and the Christian site http://www.cllcfriends.com/. Both of these sites are wonderful sources of education and support. http://cll.acor.org/help.htm is another information and support place to go and join a discussion group (on the help page look over on the far right for the link on how to join). In all three you can ask your questions and members will try to help you out. If nothing else, you will find folks who know what you are going through. I also have some other links and blogs listed here over on the right that can be very useful to you.

Although I know folks are visiting, I also enjoy reading your comments. So if you have time when you visit, take a moment and say howdy by clicking on the comments link at the bottom of the individual post. I promise I won’t make fun of you – unless you are the one looking for “los vagas cll girls.”

Mr. President, I Need to be Stimulated and I Have a Proposal for You

Dear readers, are you feeling stimulated yet? I’m not and billions of dollars have already been spent. In fact, one article I read said that President Obama spent one billion dollars a day during his first fifty days in office. That is $50,000,000,000 in fifty days. And remember, many more billions in bailout were already spent before President Obama took the reins of power. And those in Washington have been throwing around billion and trillion dollar figures lately that make my head swim. Now I don’t know about you, but I really can’t comprehend those numbers because they are so far outside my reality. And if you start talking trillions of dollars, my eyes just glaze over.

So, let’s go back to the $1,000,000,000 a day figure. Let’s try to make that figure a little more comprehensible. That amount works out to $41,666,666.67 an hour, rounded to the nearest penny, of course. OK, so over forty one and a half million dollars an hour is closer, but still outside my reality and my ability to truly comprehend that amount of cash. My first real job loading trucks in a shoe factory warehouse, I earned seventy five cents an hour.

So let me try again. That amount works out to $694,444.44 spent every minute of every day for the first fifty days. Nope, still don’t get it. My first year in the Air Force, I earned $1,200 for the entire year!

One more try. How about $11,574.07 spent every second of every day for the first fifty days? Yep, I have earned that much before. But of course it has taken much, much longer than a second. In fact, if I save every penny of my current Social Security Disability pay starting right now, it will only take me until near the end of this December — eight and a half months away — to come up with the amount spent every second of every day.

So, what do I propose? If you remember, in my post of March 24, I mentioned that I really hate to dust. Earlier tonight, Cheryl said to me that if I didn’t do anything else tomorrow to please vacuum the carpet and do some dusting. I told her I vacuumed on Friday. She rolled her eyes and said something about calling in the carpet cleaners. I didn’t bother telling her I already dusted just before our Christmas party. In fact, I didn’t have a calculator handy for all those calculations, so I just used my finger in the dust on the end table here next to my recliner. But as usual, I digress. My proposal, Mr. President is to send me a small amount of stimulus money and I will hire a maid service!

Now don’t laugh, Mr. President. I bet you use maids in that big old white house of yours! I can’t really picture you or Michelle dusting. Unless maybe you make the kids do it? Naw, I doubt it. Not only would you be helping a poor old man with Cancer (yep, not too proud to play the “C” card when necessary), but you would be helping three ladies every week to put food on their table to feed their hungry children (the mental picture of starving kids helps, too). You see, my daughter once bought us maid service as a Christmas present and when they came they did a pretty good job and there were always three of them. Not only will they dust, but they will vacuum, dust, mop the tile floor, dust, make the beds, dust, clean the toilets, dust, clean the tubs, dust, clean the shower, dust, wipe down the appliances, and dust. In the end, you will make an old man with CANCER very happy, make the wife of the old man with CANCER even happier, make those three maids happy, and fill the bellies of those poor starving children of the maids happiest of all. Wouldn’t you like to see the smile put back on those children’s faces, Mr. President? And, we will be stimulating the local economy because those maids will remain employed and they will buy gas, cleaning supplies, and also spend their money at the local grocery store for those poor starving children. Another benefit you might not think about, but is very real, you will be giving me and my dog more time to watch my favorite morning program, “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.” Yes, my dog, Snickers, comes running to my lap as soon as he hears the music for the beginning of the Ellen show. He knows he will be petted for an hour. By giving me time to watch her show, her ratings stay up and many more people remain employed. Also, I laugh during her show, and that improves my immune system, makes me live longer, and puts more money into the pocket of the medical community as they keep treating me to keep me alive even longer. The possibilities of the far reaching stimulating effect of my proposal are just mind boggling. Why, I might even have time to get hooked on soap operas and I hear they are in real danger of failing.

And how much would this stimulus package cost? Well, like many of my corporate counterparts, I’m not too sure, but just let me pull some figures out of my … um … out of my hat. Let’s say they charge me $100 a week to come one morning each week. But to be safe, we will make it $150. (Congressmen always throw in a little extra to be safe, don’t they?) So, for 50 weeks of the year (I plan to give them a two week vacation), that comes out to … just a minute, I have to go over to the other dusty end table … that comes to $7,500 a year.

I believe in giving my employees job stability so I want to hire them for ten years. Besides, it makes the math easier to multiply by ten. That works out to just over SIX SECONDS of what you have already been spending. Six seconds worth of spending to accomplish all I have enumerated above for ten years! And I promise you, Mr. President, I will not pay myself, my wife, my grandkids, my dog, or anyone else a bonus (if I earn any money I will stop receiving the SS disability). I also promise I will not take the maids to any conferences in Las Vegas. (If I did, I wouldn’t have to wait for the big C to kill me; my wife would take care of that.)

Now you might think you don’t have even that small amount of money left for my stimulus package. But I found it! You forgot, Mr. President, we just went into daylight savings time. That means we moved our clocks ahead one hour. WE SAVED ONE HOUR’S WORTH OF SPENDING! That is an extra $41,666,666.67 I found just waiting to be spent. My amount is pocket change, right? (Hurry dear readers, if you want your share you better claim it now. Once the word gets out it will be gone in, well, less than an hour.)

So what do you say, Mr. President? Do we have a deal? I think my stimulus package is a real bargain! Just have your people call my people and we will work out all the details. And remember once again, Mr. President, you will be making a poor old man with CANCER very happy.

Husbands Say The Darndest Things

In the class I teach on Sunday mornings, we just completed a wonderful, many-month study of Psalms and Proverbs. Two weeks ago we had a discussion about the foolish, purposefully hurtful things we say or even outright lies we sometimes tell and then we try and cover it up by saying, “Only kidding.” This led to talking about the hurtful things we sometimes say but we didn't actually intend them to be hurtful. We say them without malice, but also without thinking and yet those foolish comments can still have long term consequences.

Occasionally … well, actually often … I get myself in trouble by making comments that I mean to be funny, but because I don’t think them through, actually come out as hurtful. Saying, “Only kidding,” even though I was, doesn't help in those situations either.

I related the following true story to my class.

Thirty five years ago, Cheryl and I were a young couple with two small children, only married six years. I was in the military and not making much money. We did a lot of our clothes shopping at yard sales on Saturday mornings, but on occasion we were able to splurge and buy something new. On one of those times Cheryl got a new dress which she wore to church for the first time. It was a very, very bright yellow with black stripes. It really did look nice on her.

After the worship service she went down to the nursery to get the kids while I was delayed talking to some folks. When I came out of the sanctuary, I saw her down at the end of the hallway that ran the length of the church. She was standing by the door talking to someone else and she had the girls with her.

When I got to her, she said, “Oh, good. I didn't know if you knew I was down here, I was worried you wouldn't find me.”

I said, with a smile on my face, “No need to worry. I saw you from all the way at the other end of the hallway. Couldn't miss you. You look like a big ol' bumblebee in your new dress.”

OOPS!

She never wore that dress again!

Fortunately she started talking to me again last week.

I'm a Gadget Guy

One of the things I like to do is surf the electronic store web sites and dream of things that would be neat to have. (OK, OK, so I lust in my heart for them – and I know that statement got Jimmy Carter in trouble. See Playboy interview 1976.)

If you are out there and are wondering what to get me for Christmas, here is my wish list (my wife and kids sometimes read my blog):

1. GPS

I need this driving aid and I really wish I had it when I was still working and traveling all around the state. I need a GPS. Yes, I said NEED. Several reasons:

* I am old and old people get lost.

* I am a guy and guys don’t ask for directions.

* Cheryl gets mad when I pull up to someone on her side of the car and I tell her to ask for directions.

* I have chemo brain and, and, and…darn, I forget why else.

After much research and reading lots of reviews, I have narrowed it down to a Garmin Nuvi, but I still haven’t decided on the model number. I know I want, er, need wide screen, touch screen, spoken directions and spoken street names. But, do I want/need a model that also has traffic updates? Bluetooth wireless for hands-free phone calling? FM transmitter? Garmin Locate™ (marks position when removed from windshield mount so you can take it with you and then find your car in a mall parking lot? Auto-sort multiple destinations for most efficient route? MSN Direct for theater times, etc.? Voice commands? Garmin’s “Where AM I?” which finds the closest hospitals, police & gas stations? (I guess that is so you can gas up before heading to the hospital with a police escort.) MP3 player? Audio book player? Picture viewer? Some of these features might be nice to have, but why do I need to look at pictures while I am driving? Isn’t that kind of dangerous? Strangely, almost all of their models have this feature.

Actually, I just need to get from point A to point B without getting lost. It reminds me of my phone. It does all kinds of stuff, but I only use it to make phone calls. That is why it is called a PHONE! I disabled texting and the Internet. Why surf the internet on a one inch screen? I couldn't see it anyway. Of course this goes against my normal preferences because I usually like all the bells and whistles on my gadgets. But I also don’t like paying extra on an ongoing monthly basis for all those features.

The last two times we were in New York, we used my brother-in-law, Bill’s automobile and he had a Garmin Nuvi and we fell in love with it. We named the GPS “Thelma” because of the sultry female voice that guided us on our journeys. Now one time Thelma done did us wrong! We were coming back late at night on a trip of about 60 miles or so and I was blindly following Thelma’s directions. Whenever she said turn right or left, I did. We were on a semi-familiar road and Thelma said, “Turn left,” I did. Cheryl said she was pretty sure we should keep going straight, but I trusted Thelma. Well, the road quickly became narrow. After a couple more turns, there was snow. A rabbit ran across in front of us. Then a fox. Then a herd of deer. Cheryl thought she saw an armadillo but I knew that couldn’t be. I think it was an opossum. Or maybe a longhorn. I don’t know. I think I was hallucinating by then. Then the pavement disappeared and we were on rutted dirt, then we passed through a farmer’s yard, between his house and the barn. I thought we had been transported to rural Germany. Unfortunately the car was warning us we were very low on fuel. We had no cell phone service. I started talking and pleading with Thelma. Before we completely ran out of roadway (and gas), we came back on to the highway we had originally been on. When we first turned, Cheryl saw the name of the road we turned on to. Texas Valley Road. Thelma must have felt we were a little homesick in New York and needed a taste of Texas. I had to explain to Thelma that we live in a very metropolitan area of Texas and to stop doing us favors.

2. LCD HDTV

I want a 40 or 42 inch thin bezel LCD High Definition TV, preferably the new Sony W or Z series with the 120 Hz refresh rate, but the Samsung model is good too. I would go for larger, but our built in bookshelf with entertainment center will only accommodate a set’s frame that is 40 inches wide at the most. Now I could put a 60 inch TV over the fireplace, but it wouldn’t look good with the huge Christmas wreath hanging in front of the screen every year. I first thought I wanted a Plasma set, but the TV room has lots of windows and a Plasma TV has a very reflective screen. Since I watch TV during the day, I need a non-reflective TV screen. If you find a good deal on Plasma, I wouldn’t send it back.

3. Desktop Computer


I could use a new computer as I still haven’t replaced my desk top that is basically dead. Since I am lusting for…uh, dreaming of the HDTV, I might as well go with the multimedia desktop with a powerful quad-core processor, one terabyte hard drive, 6 to 8 GB RAM, powerful graphics card, TV tuner with DVR and remote control, wireless b/g/n, and a BlueRay DVD/CD write drive. It also needs a wireless keyboard and mouse so I can hook it all up to my new HDTV and sit in my recliner and surf the net or play my high def BlueRay movie collection which I also would need for Christmas. But as long as you are getting this for me, you might as well throw in a 24 inch high def monitor to put on my computer desk in the front room for those times I want to take the desktop back in there and just do serious computing. If you need the HP model numbers for these before you go shopping, let me know and I can give them to you.

4. Digital Camera


Next, I need a new digital camera. The one I have is very old, but takes very good pictures. The plastic hinge of the battery door is breaking and is barely hanging on. Once it totally breaks, it won’t operate because there is some connection that gets broken when the door latch is moved to open. However, the main problem now is that it got wet. When we came back from New York, I had it in my carry on bag in the side mesh pocket. I set the bag on the floor in our bedroom and it sat there for several days. Unfortunately, Snickers, my male dog, has a nasty habit of sometimes marking items that are sitting on the floor that are not normally there. Yep, he marked it. Yep, he marked it on the mesh pocket side of the bag. Yep, he got my camera. I have to teach him to mark with a pencil only. My computer magazine rates a Cannon as top choice in the price range I am looking. My current camera is a Cannon so I think I will stick with that brand.

5. Trifocals


Finally, even though it is not a tech gadget, this evening I discovered I really do need new glasses. When I checked the description of tonight’s CSI Miami, I read it twice and still read the same thing: “…a sausage killer runs rampant in Miami.” Eventually I figured out it was a “savage killer.” Much more exciting. Maybe tomorrow I’ll make my own appointment for an eye exam and the new spectacles. Then I can reactivate the Internet on my cell phone.

At Christmas I will still be happy with my new tie, new handkerchiefs, and new aftershave from my grandkids. I will continue to lust in my heart for my tech gadgets and ask for forgiveness.

Please Pray for Those Affected by the Hurricanes

There are many hurting folks along the Gulf coast and along the path of hurricane Ike. The destruction was widespread and very devastating. Some have lost family and friends to the storm. Many have lost their homes and businesses. Many are living in difficult circumstances right now without power and other utilities, or in shelters scattered far from home. Some areas of Louisiana hadn't recovered from Gustav and then were hit by Ike.

I have to confess I had mixed feelings watching the rescue of folks who had refused to leave. I was thankful they were being saved and I felt compassion for the peril they were in. However I also felt frustrated and even angry that they were so stupid after all the clear warnings and now they had not only endangered their own life, but the lives of the rescuers. I didn't feel like that during hurricane Katrina because folks just didn't know. I was horrified at the plight of those folks. This time, officials clearly said leave or die. Of course then I can also think back to some very stupid things I have done in my life, too. I try not to judge, but I don't do a very good job of it and I seem to be getting worse the older I get. In fact Cheryl now reminds me often when I make statements that are critical of others. Is this what they mean when they talk about grumpy old men? However, I digress, as usual.

Over the next several days, people will be returning to assess the damage. Many will have lost everything, but they are still alive. I don't know how I would react in that situation and I can't know for sure unless I experience it, but I would hope I would have the attitude that they are just possessions and God had spared me and my family. There are so many more important things. I am reminded of the verse that says, "What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?" Mark 8:36

The Austin area was spared from the effects. Earlier in the week, Ike was predicted to come right over us and still be near Category I. As the week progressed the tracks were predicted further and further East and that is what happened. Saturday we were still predicted to have rain most of the day, which we really need. However, Saturday was very cloudy and breezy but no rain. Not a drop.

My brother called Saturday to see how we were as he said the TV said it was the end of the world down here. He didn't know I was in WalMart shopping and I told him we had terrible damage at the house. At first he really did sound concerned and asked what kind of damage. I told him the welcome mat on our front porch that says, "What happens at Grandma's, stays at Grandma's" had been blown over and folded in half!! I'm surprised my family still calls me.

Dr. Appointment & Some Silliness

Well, I waited to post the results of this month’s doctor visit until I had all the reports back. Actually it is all pretty good news. There was hardly any change at all in the regular blood tests. Platelet level slipped a little to 103, but surprisingly, the red cell count came up right next to normal. I am not considered anemic. Both Cheryl and I thought for sure that had plunged, just because of how extraordinarily tired I have been. My IGG actually went up a little, although it is still low. My onc decided to hold off again on IVIG because I have not had an infection and he is having a little trouble getting it. (That is the $10,000 a month treatment.) What I really wanted to know was the cause of my fatigue. As most of you know, I have been struggling with that since almost the beginning, but it has been getting worse again. He asked us a bunch of questions. My wife told him I will sometimes fall asleep in the middle of a conversation. I didn’t know I did thzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Oh, sorry, anyway, he said it could just be the underlying CLL, or it might even be a combination of all the different medications I take, but he also wanted to check my testosterone levels. He told us about one of his patients who had low levels and he was placed on the testosterone patch and he was like a new person. So, at my Monday appointment, I had more blood drawn. Of course, I then did some research on the Web. Although I did find fatigue associated with low levels, it was barely mentioned in most places I looked, but a LOT of other things going on with me did fit. Apparently low levels can be as a result of chemotherapy, and, it can result in loss of strength and muscle tone (yep and yep) and lead to osteoporosis – I already have that. Well, as I was beginning to suspect, my levels are low. I had a message on my phone from the doctor’s office. The message said I should contact my primary care doctor to get on the testosterone replacement patch. Wow, I pray this is an answer. Now, do you think I might start growing hair on the top of my head? Watch, instead I will have to braid long nose and ear hairs. It will start growing everywhere except my head. Ooo, yuck, sorry. Of course, we also aren’t planning to do chemo any time soon. Remember, when I finished up eight rounds last summer, my onc said we were stopping for three months, but we might get six months out of it. Hmm, I am now in my 11th month! I guess God’s timetable is a little different from my oncologist’s timetable.

I leave Sunday afternoon to go to Dallas to conduct a five day training. This will be the last time I conduct this course and I only have one more class to teach before I retire. Strange feeling after 37 years of working as a trainer. Now, if I can just keep from falling asleep when I am in front of the class. Snoring on the part of the instructor always detracts from the presentation.

Now for the “silly break.” I am in charge of the coffee fund for two work sections at the state health department. Yesterday one of the coffee machines died. Here is the announcement I wrote for our coffee fund members:

IN MEMORIUM

February 14, 2007 – June 13, 2007

Sadly, at 8:17 on June 13, 2007, Mr. Black A. Decker expired. Foul play, though initially suspected, was quickly ruled out. Doctors say the cause of death was overwork, an oddity at his place of employment. Although surrounded by health care workers, all efforts to revive him were for naught. Mr. Decker, placed into service on February 14, 2007 and recruited from Wal-Mart, was extremely young for his breed, having lived and served only three months, 29 days. Normal life expectancy for one in his circumstances averages over one year. Autopsy results revealed a lot of rough living in his short life. He was scarred, pitted and unkempt. His internal plumbing showed evidence of hard living and hard water. Although he was listed as an organ donor, only his pot was saved. Viewing was held in room 1004 on June 13, 2007, during normal work hours. He was placed in a custom made box from the Original Manufacturer and placed in a temporary holding can.

Mourning turned to anger when word got out that his demise resulted in July NOT being a free month for fund participants. All respect was lost and Mr. Decker was relegated to the trash heap at the end of the day. An anonymous source remarked, “So much for loyalty and compassion!”

Mr. Decker is survived by his older friend and work companion, Mr. Proctor Silex, who works in the decaf department. Black’s position was quickly filled by a distant cousin of Mr. Silex, also named Proctor Silex, who ironically is black. He was quickly recruited from the local grocery store. The new Mr. Silex is more beautiful than his older cousin and he is equipped with more, though rarely used, options. Mr. Silex’s current caretaker, Mr. J. Wagner who is himself soon retiring (but not expiring) from state service, said, “Long live Proctor. My wish is that he is treated with the dignity and respect he deserves. My dream is that if I should return for a visit even two years from now that I would find Proctor healthy and continuing to dispense liquid caffeine for future state workers. Lord knows they need something to keep them awake and working.” Mr. Wagner arranged a three gun salute as a final tribute to Mr. Decker. “These guys were happy to do it,” said Wagner. “Of course it didn’t hurt that I was able to convince them it was also duck hunting season.”

Good Grief! I've Been Wrong All These Years

I am so upset. I have been wrong since 1950! That is when I learned, or thought I had learned how to do it. How could this be? I only found the error of my ways two weeks ago. Only through the power of the Internet did I discover I have been doing it wrong all these years. What is it, what is it, you ask? 57 years of tying my shoes incorrectly!! I am so embarrassed. My bows were crooked and floppy and I never knew why and I turned a blind eye to my transgression. How many people have been secretly laughing and pointing at me behind my back? All those years of sitting in classrooms, waiting rooms, airport terminals, standing in front of classes and even standing for inspection in the military. And nobody had the common decency of pointing out my folly? Not even my closest friends? How could this happen? My parents failed me. My grade school failed me. My Kindergarten teacher failed me. But a complete stranger came to my rescue by having the decency to make an entire website dedicated to the proper art of tying and lacing up shoes. Ian’s Shoelace site finally set me straight. Thank you, Ian. (Actually if you Google shoe tying, you will find MANY sites dedicated to this art, including lots of instructional video.)

I feel like I should sue someone for all those years that are now causing me mental anguish. But who should I sue? If I sue my 92 year old Mom, all I would get is maybe a case of chocolate Boost, a box of Depends, and a picture of my youngest brother Bill (Mom always liked him best). I doubt I could sue Miss Jennings, my kindergarten teacher. Shoe tying and counting to ten was the final exam and requirement to graduate into the first grade. I even think I could hold her responsible, but I doubt she is still alive. You see she was my Mom’s kindergarten teacher and my older brother’s teacher too. So that would make her one hundred and gazillion years old. Maybe I could sue the school? If they hadn’t put that elevated, table-top sandbox in the corner of my Kindergarten classroom, I might have spent less time playing in the sand and more time practicing the art of proper shoe tying. But I don’t know if Lincoln Elementary School in Johnson City, New York, still exists. So who is left? I don’t know. Any suggestions are more than welcome.

So what was my error? I was making Granny knots!! I learned back in Boy Scouts that you should never tie a Granny knot, only square knots. “Right over left and left over right, makes the knot neat and tidy and tight.” But even the Boy Scouts didn’t help me transfer that knowledge to shoe tying. Granny knots caused my bows to be crooked and floppy. What can be worse than crooked, floppy bows? Actually learning to tie my shoes properly has been difficult. I now have to stop and think about it and sometimes start over. Also, like someone in recovery, I am now highly critical of others and find myself looking at other’s bows to see if they are floppy or straight. When I see a crooked, floppy bow I just shake my head and silently pity the person – but I would never point and laugh behind their back. I haven’t quite worked up the courage to actually correct someone, yet – don’t sue me! So, to help you out, here are pictures of the end result of the correct and incorrect way of tying shoes.




Now look down at your shoes. If the bows match the first picture, congratulations, but if they match the second picture, click on the link to Ian’s site and learn how to do it correctly. http://www.shoe-lacing.com/shoelace/slipping.htm. If you looked down and saw sandals or flip-flops, then good for you. If you saw penny loafers, you are older than I am.

Since this is my leukemia/lymphoma Blog, I guess it is only fair to give an update. I go for my blood work Monday and I expect that my red cells may have decreased. My fatigue is much more pronounced again. When I went to Las Vegas with my daughter last week, I was in bed the first night at 8 p.m. and the second night before 9 p.m. and had naps each day, too. Who goes to bed that early in Vegas besides Baptists and folks with Leukemia? Oh yes, I forgot, I am both so that explains it. Actually, I did have a good time and saw some neat things on a couple of tours and I will post pictures as soon as I download them. In the meantime, get those shoes tied correctly!

I know, I know, I am a Lousy Lymphomaniac!

Well, my good friend, Paula Dunn, asked, "Has your broken arm healed yet?" Ha! I wish I could say that is my excuse for not posting, but it's not. So why haven't I? I guess I was just sick of Leukemia for awhile. I dropped out of reading my ACOR list, my cllforum, my CLLCfriends forum (CLL Christian friends), and the various blogs I kept up with. I guess I just needed a mental holiday. I have been feeling somewhat this way since early last fall when we went on the cruise and I barely gave cancer a thought, but this has been a particularly strong feeling since the first of the year.

Having read numerous other blogs, I have noticed that a good percentage of the folks did the same thing at some point; obviously not all, but quite a few. I just recently celebrated my two year cancerversary and two years is a long time to have cancer constantly on your mind. I think I am out of that mood now. For the last week I have pretty much caught up on my forum reading, I am about to tackle the ACOR list and I started reading some of the blogs I used to check every day. It is strange because I never forgot about any of the folks and those fellow blogger and forum members remained in my prayers. I would pick up my laptop in the evening and think I would go do some reading, but then would end up just mindlessly playing solitaire before heading off to bed.

OK, I will get up off the psych couch and catch you up some on what has been happening in my world. The coughing from the pneumonia finally went away, but during that time my ears had become infected. They ended up with fluid and stopped up. The infection got cleared up, but the blockage in my left ear has remained since January. We tried several medications but nothing cleared it up. I finally got in to the ENT specialist today. I do have fluid (duh!), and hearing loss in my left ear. However, he really doesn't want to take any drastic measures yet as he is afraid of giving me an infection. He wants to wait a couple of more months at least. So, I am back to using the nose spray hoping to clear it up.

Since I last posted I have had two blood tests. The February tests looked pretty good and my neutrophils (infection fighters) were up in the normal range for the first time in a couple of years -- however, that was because I was still fighting infections, and that was good because it meant I was getting an immune response. The end of March's blood tests didn't look quite as good and everything but platelets got a little bit worse and the neutrophils dropped quite a bit. The good news was that platelets were all the way up to 129! The results of the CT Scan showed the lymph nodes are growing again -- some in the stomach are almost pre-chemo size -- and the neck ones are all back, but not up to the size they were before chemo. Again, my main complaint is being tired. I was only out of town training one week so far this year. It was a couple of weeks ago and the night after I got back, I slept 16 hours and the next night slept another 11 hours -- a great way to spend a weekend. So you can see why I am looking forward to retirement. I will miss training greatly, but it just wipes me out too much. Last week I asked my oncologist why, since the blood tests look relatively good, why am I getting so many infections and why am I so tired? He just looked at me and said, "Because you have leukemia!" Oh, OK, I forgot. He is going to check my IGG levels in case that is why I am getting multiple infections. However, he is getting more and more confident that it may be quite a long time before more chemo because my absolute lymphocyte count is holding really well.

Now, for my most exciting news. I saw my Endocrinologist this morning for my diabetes and have added yet another medication to my pharmacy. (I currently take 14 pills a day, plus the nose spray.) This one is cool, though. It is made from lizard spit!!! Well, she said saliva, but it really is spit. And not just any old lizard. No sir, it is the beloved Gila Monster. How many of you can say you inject yourself with Lizard Spit???? I always wanted to be unique.

Yep, now I am part lizard (when they were growing up, my kids already thought I was part monster when I was around their boy friends). And I inject it into my stomach twice a day, just before breakfast and just before dinner. Since I am already part mouse from the Rituxan infusions, and now that I am part lizard, I believe my inner lizard and inner mouse have genetically combined and I am now a -- louse! And that, boys and girls, is why I am a lousy lymphomaniac.

From information I found on the web: "The Gila monster is a rare lizard with deadly venom in its saliva. Researchers have used the saliva to develop a new drug called exenatide. It’s injected twice a day to help type 2 diabetics keep their blood sugar under control.
“We think that the effect of the drug has something to do with the fact that this animal eats two, maybe three or four times a year,” says diabetologist John Buse, M.D., Ph.D., of UNC Diabetes Care Center in Chapel Hill.
A hormone in the lizard’s saliva slows its metabolism between meals and keeps its blood sugar low when it does eat. It seems to have the same effect on patients with type 2 diabetes.
Since Gila monsters are at risk of becoming an endangered species, exenatide is now made synthetically and not from the lizard."

OK, so I am only synthetically part lizard, but hey, just be careful next time you invite me to dinner. Only serve me raw eggs, please:

On a very serious note, today was the horrendous shootings at Virginia Tech. The talking heads on TV are all trying to explain what happened. But how can anyone explain such senselessness? Please join me in praying for the wounded survivors; those who were in the buildings and witnessed the horror; the students, faculty and staff of Virginia Tech; and especially the family and loved ones of those who lost their lives.

Anybody Get the Number of That Truck?

(Note: edited and new images added below on 4/28)

OK, well maybe it was a very small truck, but it felt like a truck hit me this time. I have waited to update for several days until the steroids got out of my system. I didn't trust what I might write. I have done a fair amount of ranting over in the Cllforum website. I am finally feeling myself again. Wow, they had warned me the effects would be cumulative, but this time really was the pits. I was more fatigued, which I can handle, but the very worst part was that I was SO moody this time right through yesterday. I would go from very, very sad to grumpy to angry to depressed to feeling OK to upset again within what felt like 10 second intervals. I even snipped at my poor, 91-year-old Mom twice this time. Thought I was guarding against that! I bought some chocolate chip cookies and another big bag of M&Ms for her yesterday as an apology. Cookies or chocolate will do it everytime. I felt I better get both.

Sunday I taught my Bible study class in the morning and then I was wiped out for the rest of the day. I went to work Monday morning because I had to have blood work in the morning only a couple of blocks from where I work. I felt like I was swimming in thick pea soup all day. After the blood work, I went down the street to the hospital and visited a former boss whom I greatly respect. She has battled cancer for several years but now it has spread and she is not doing well at all. In fact, on Tuesday she transferred to a hospice facility. After seeing all the cancer patients while waiting for blood work and then visiting with her, my mood only darkened more. I went back to work, but basically, I was just there. Then I left a few minutes early, came home and slept until Cheryl woke me for supper. I usually fix the evening meal, but Cheryl had it all fixed, bless her heart.

Tuesday morning I had to go see my regular doctor because of an ear infection, or more accurately, sinus that is affecting my ears. Today I went to work again and then had to go to my endocrinologist doctor's appointment. Looking at my blood sugar levels, we are a little afraid the steroids are pushing the diabetes out of control toward insulin use. I have to use the insulin when taking the steroid, but it swung wildly this time and didn't really come back to normal. So, for awhile, I will be taking my blood sugar reading before each meal and then two hours after eating and keep a log for several weeks and then fax it over to the doctor. I won't take insulin though unless it is over 200 before eating. However, during chemo week, she adjusted upwards the amount of insulin I am to inject, depending on what the reading is, including injecting starting at a lower reading. So much fun!

I decided not to post Monday's blood report because it really isn't all that accurate for several reasons. First, I took the last steroid Saturday night and that always pushes up the counts and second, with my sinus stuff going on, that pushes up the white count, neutrophils and lymphocytes. So, I don't put much faith in them. WBC more than doubled, lymphs tripled, neutrophils almost tripled. My platelets went all the way up to 122 which would be nice if they stayed there and continued to go up. I won't get excited over any of it and just wait and see what they look like on May 8th, the morning of the next chemo round.

My brother, Bob, is flying in from Ohio next Thursday. It will be good to see him again. Then he is taking Mom back to Ohio with him on the 9th, the day after begining the next chemo. At least I won't subject her to my moods this next round - watch out, Cheryl! I really am sorry to see her leave, but about this time each year she gets anxious to go back north. This time she won't go all the way to NY until July. She lives in upstate NY with my older brother, but his wife, Barb, just had knee replacement surgery last week, so we are going to allow recovery time so there is no added pressure on her. Mom is fine with that and it will be good for her to visit with Bob and his family. Kind of ironic that she came down with my youngest brother, Bill, just before my first chemo round and now she is leaving right after my, hopefully, last round for awhile. At least I was home quite a bit this time so I was able to keep her company, even if I was sleeping or working in on the computer.

David E. made a comment on my last post. He said I mentioned Grumpy, Sleepy, and Doc, my constant companions during chemo weeks.


But David wondered what happened to the other four dwarfs. Well, I did some investigating. Here is what I found:

Dopey - the silliest of the seven and the only one who is completely bald and beardless - he has been around the whole time. I found him when I looked in the mirror.

Sneezy - the one who often has his finger under his nose - well, he is here too. He is the one responsible for my sinus problem and thus my gurgling ear canal. Now he seems to make an appearance more when I am eating. Embarrassing trying to eat with a runny nose! Gross.

Bashful - the one often with his hands clasped behind his back, shoulders raised and eyes cast skyward - darned if I can find him. He keeps hiding, I guess. I haven't seen much of him since high school where he was VERY prominent. He only makes an appearance on very rare occasions.

Happy - the most rotund of them all and always in a good mood. He keeps disappearing every third week when Doc and his buddies, Sleepy and Grumpy show up. They are around that week all the time. Grumpy just parades around like he owns the place. Happy usually at least sticks his head in the door once in awhile, but this time I was really concerned. He seemed to just disappear completely. I started searching for him everywhere. I looked for days, everywhere I could think of. Everytime I thought I found him, it was really Grumpy in disguise.


Well, good news. I found him today. Just as I had suspected, the evil Troll, Prednisone, had kidnapped him and was holding him bound up under the Congress Street Bridge in downtown Austin. The same bridge that millions of Mexican free-tail bats live under. How appropriate, the evil troll had driven Happy batty! I am so glad I rescued him today. I sure missed the little fella. When I got him home, I made him get on the scales. Sure enough, the Evil Troll somehow made him gain another five pounds! I had a long talk with Happy and he told me he would keep his guard up, especially around the 8th of May! The Evil Troll, however, was not destroyed and I know he will be back.

(My apologies to Uncle Walt, may he rest in peace. Sure hope his company doesn't sue me over this.)