What Happened to January?

Not sure how it can be February already. It sure seems like it was just Christmas. I really have been busy -- I think. We had a great Christmas with our girls and grandkids. Then we had our usual wild New Year's Eve celebration. Cheryl went to bed about 9 p.m. and I watched TV. At 11 p.m. I whispered "whoo-hoo" when the ball in Time Square lit up 2008, then said "whoo-hoo" again when it reached midnight here (I think I was still awake). That has been our tradition for about 30 years.

The only difference this year was that my killer dog, which I adopted last August, spent the night shivering in my arms -- terrified by all the fireworks being shot off in the neighborhood.

In fact, I had a difficult time getting him out in the yard even the next day. Unfortunately the carpet paid the price and Cheryl threatened him with returning to the pound. I can't wait for the 4th of July celebrations. Just yesterday we had a new back door installed that has a doggy door so he can come in and go out at will. The old door was almost all glass, but the bottom core was rotting from where it used to get wet before we had the patio covered. It needed to be replaced so we did the doggy door at the same time. It was funny trying to teach him to use it. I got stuck part way in it trying to show him how. (Not really)

Of course, now that he can come and go as he pleases, I will get even less exercise getting up to let him out and then getting up to let him back in. We will still have to go for our walks down the street which he gets really excited about!

On January 4th, Cheryl's sister, Diane, and my Mom flew down from upstate NY. Diane was divorced this past year and really needed the break. We were both very glad to have her here, but unfortunately she had to go back on the 14th to go back to work. She always helps out so much when she is here. Last visit she helped paint two rooms plus some other projects. This time she helped us get all the Christmas decorations put away (we have so much we have a separate storage shed full, just for Christmas decorations), washed some windows, trimmed some bushes and still had some time to do some sun tanning on the nice days. I need to have her come down at least once a month.

Mom will be staying with us for a few months. She is now 93 and much weaker than when she was here two years ago. It is a very good thing I am not working because I would not want to leave her very long in the house alone. She still gets around the house with a walker, but barely. One morning, Jimmy forgot his morning medication and I had to take it to him at school. Mom had not been getting up until after 10 a.m., so I decided to take the time to stop at the grocery store as long as I was out. I got back to the house at 9:20 and Mom was stuck in the bathroom on a stool we had put in there for her to sit on in front of the sink and mirror. She had gotten ill in the night and had gone in to get cleaned up. She had a pain in her left side and couldn't get up because it hurt too much when she tried. She had been calling for me and she didn't know I was not home. I felt horrible. I won't do that again! I ended up buying a lift chair from SAMS Club because she couldn't get up off any of our chairs. With my bad back, I was afraid I would really hurt it if I had to help her too much. Now we have pretty much settled into a routine. Her mind really is very sharp and it it wasn't for her horrible arthritis and bad knees, she would be in fantastic shape.

Cindy has been traveling quite a bit so I have also been watching Jonathan and taking care of their dogs. She is still struggling with morning sickness -- morning, afternoon and night. Her allergies have also been terrible. "Cedar Fever" is really bad here for folks with allergies from about Christmas until mid February. She is now up in Amarillo with her husband as he is going to have a medical procedure on Monday that requires anesthesia. He has been having difficulties for a couple of months now and, like a typical guy, had put off going to the doctor. Now it is really bad and they are going inside to look as the doctor suspects a tumor. Of course they are both very anxious over it. She flew up there last week to go with him to the specialist. The doctor wanted to do the procedure the next day, but he is a driller in the oil fields and he said he HAD to be to work that night. He needed time to get a driller to cover for him for 24 hours. They should know something Monday afternoon when the procedure is completed.

Wow, and I had pictured in my mind that when I retired I would be spending many days fishing.Well, since I don't get away from the house that often, perhaps I should try this type of fishing.

Well, I think that is all the news that's fit to print and some that ain't.

I Am Certified by the Federal Government

No, not certified crazy, although, over the years, many people have told me they thought I was certifiable. First, the government certified I was old as I started getting Social Security retirement benefits last September at the ripe old age of 62.

Now, today in the mail, I received a letter in the mail. I was approved for Social Security Disability on my FIRST TRY!!! I have been certified officially disabled.

(Click on these graphics to see the animation)

When I retired September 1st, I applied for disability at the same time I applied for my regular Social Security payments (I turned 62 last August). I did retire earlier than I had planned because continuing to work was just too difficult, particularly with all the travel I had to do and instructing all day in a classroom. Most of the time I felt like I was barely functioning. We figured that as long as Cheryl was working we wouldn't have any problem with me just getting the reduced rate SS retirement payments. I really wasn't going to apply for disability, but when I was talking to the guy at Social Security when I applied for the regular retirement, he said I really needed to go try for it. Everything I read, I figured it would take at least two to three appeals and then maybe even a hearing with a judge. I wasn't too worried about waiting for payments because the regular SS benefits began right away for September. I very carefully filled out all the paperwork and had a copy of every blood test, bone marrow biopsy, CT Scan, bone scan, I had gotten since the year before diagnosis when I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. I had reports of the diabetes, osteoporosis, arthritis, deteriorating spinal discs, and of course the CLL/SLL which is the real reason I couldn't keep going. I believe they also contact all the doctors I had listed. Even with all that, I didn't hold much hope. What a pleasant surprise. I really don't know if their decision was based just on the CLL/SLL or a combination of everything.

They determined my disability date as August 23, 2007. I only worked one day in August, and that was the date. So, to get the payments, you have to be disabled five full months and then the payments start the next month and that works out to this February. The only drawback, and it is very minor, once I have been getting payments for 24 months, I will become "eligible" for Medicare. Now for many folks that is a good thing, but my military insurance is so very good right now, I don't want it, but I will have to take it and the military becomes secondary. It also means I will have to pay for Medicare part B as the military insurance requires that. So, I will have that monthly expense. However, as Cheryl pointed out, I would have had to do that starting that August when I am 65 anyway and it is only six months sooner. In the meantime I will be getting an extra $350 a month more than I am getting for regular retirement right now, which more than offsets the monthly part B cost (currently $96 a month).

Disability payments must be reviewed every so often as sometimes people improve and can go back to work. There are three categories they put people in. The lowest is people they will review every 6 to 18 months. However, I have been put in the "improvement not expected" category and I will be reviewed in five to seven years. Lord willing, I will still be here for that review!

This extra really helps because when Cheryl retires in a couple of years, we will need everything we can get. We already have told the grandkids only a couple of years left of nice Christmas gifts from us and then it is McDonald's gift certificates (if they are still $5.00 then).

Hmm, don't know why the pictures aren't animated until you click on them.

Tired, Tired, and Retired

What happened to August? Did anyone see it go by? Wow, what a busy month and it flew by. August was my practice-for-retirement month. I had managed to save enough leave that I was able to take just about the entire month off before my official retirement date. So, what were some of the significant happenings? Well, first of all NO blood tests this month. That was a first for quite awhile. A little strange also since the last blood tests put me back to stage four. Oh well, I have some tests coming up this month and we will see what is happening.

August 3rd I turned 62. It is this milestone birthday that is allowing me to retire early as I can collect reduced Social Security. I think I have said here that I hadn't planned on retiring until I was at least 66. However, with this stinkin' disease, it was time. I wasn't real productive at work and I was so tired most of the time. I wanted to retire now so that I could still enjoy some of this time without working. I didn't realize how busy I was going to be, at least so far. But, even though I am getting up fairly early each morning, it still isn't 5:30 a.m. and most days I do get a nap in at some point during the day.

Most of August I had one of the grand kids staying over just about every weekday. I think the family thought I might get bored or depressed not working - HA! I really do like having the kids here though. Even went fishing a couple of times with the boys.

The second week in August I spent a day at two dog pounds picking out a new companion. I thought I had found one at the first pound and spent some time in the yard with it. But, even though it was OK, there didn't seem to be a strong connection and after we got into the yard, he pretty much ignored me. So I went over to the county pound and immediately fell in love with a long-hair Chihuahua mix three year old male dog. He weighs 8 pounds. I took Cheryl back when she got out of work to have a look at him and we came home with him. Got him on Tuesday and had him groomed on Friday. Here are before and after pictures, meet Snickers:
We have certainly bonded and he barely leaves my side. He is a super calm dog and sleeps most of the time, either on my lap or in his bed. He doesn't know how to play at all and I am trying to teach him. Today he actually ran around the yard in circles, the most activity I have seen from him. We do go for walks a couple of times a day so at least I get some exercise. Here is his favorite spot when he is not on my lap:


Next on the agenda was the going away luncheon my work held for me. It was a wonderful time. There were even several friends from my former work place who were able to make it. All of my local family was there except for our granddaughter, Holly. She was at camp that week. I really appreciated all the hard work my boss and others put into the affair, even though I had asked them not to make a fuss. It was held in our training room and the theme was Independence Day (my independence from work). Plus they know I like patriotic themes. Here is just one of many pictures I have of the affair and a coworker took a bunch of pictures and his wife set them to music on a DVD for us. Nice memories.


Then that next Thursday was my very last day at work. In the morning I attended a class as a student. A co-worker put together a new training and it was based on generational differences on views of human sexuality. I was the token old person represented, oh, I represented the "mature" generation - my desk sign said so. Then I spent the afternoon doing the final sorting of papers and cleaning things out and packing up stuff to keep.

That night was the next huge thing that happened in August. Our one 12-year-old grandson, Jimmy (um, "James") has some major problems and as a result had a very difficult year last year in school because we all felt the school officials did not deal with him properly. Cheri, his mom, tried to get him transferred to a different school within his district (one that was actually closer to their home). The new school accepted him, but the principal of his former school refused to release him. She appealed the decision. That Thursday the appeal was turned down because that principal still refused to release him. Cheri got upset and withdrew him from school. Earlier in the year we had discussed him coming to live with us and going to Round Rock schools, but when we were told she would have to give us legal custody, we didn't pursue it anymore. Well, now we had to pursue it. That next day was the last day to register before the start of school on Monday. And it had to be before 11 a.m. We spent Friday scrambling to get him registered, filling out papers and getting legal paperwork notarized. Somehow we got it done at 10:55 a.m. We are his guardians for school. Jimmy lives with us from Sunday afternoon until he gets out on Friday then he goes to his house for the weekend. He has also signed up for football. He made it through the first week of seventh grade without any trouble, including football practice. Three weeks ago, in addition to seeing his psychiatrist each month, he began seeing a Christian counselor once a week. He is very motivated right now to get his emotions under control. I think he is on too much medication (9 pills a day), but it is better than when he is not on them. He has seemed much happier so far and is doing very well. Here is a picture just before leaving for his first day of school. We had prayer just before he went out the door.

So, as you can see, I have not just been lying around. Oh, I am doing the cooking, cleaning and laundry too. I may have to find a job so I can relax, HA. Coming up next in two weeks are blood tests, another CT scan and then the week after an appointment with my oncologist. I don't think there will be too much change from last time. In fact, it may be my imagination, but I think the lymph nodes in my neck might actually be a little smaller than they have been. At least I don't think they are growing.

Our CLL community suffered a very sad loss this past week. Kurt Grayson passed away from complications of CLL. He was a character and I considered him a friend even though I never met him in person. We corresponded a lot and he gave me lots of advice, particularly when I was first diagnosed. He was an actor who was in many, many television shows and movies in the 60's, 70's and 80's. He lived the life in Beverly Hills, but he was a warm, caring, passionate and sometimes ornery human being. He was a generous person who reached out to fellow CLLers and helped them in so many ways. He was one of the founders of http://www.cllforum.com/. He had really been struggling this past year and although he was weak and wheelchair bound, traveled to NY with his nephew to seek a final treatment. He barely got started when he ran into major complications. Another tragic loss from the "good" kind of cancer. Stinking disease!

I'll try not to be so long before the next update. I know, I know you have heard that before.

My Last Hurrah

Last week I taught my final class before retirement. In the very early 70’s, when I completed my first overseas tour of duty, the military sent me to Goodfellow AFB in San Angelo, Texas, and, after I arrived, told me I was going to be an instructor. I panicked. No way! I was extremely shy in groups. I was fine one-on-one, but gather several people together whom I didn’t know, or know well, and I didn’t say a word. When the military says you will do something, that’s it, you will do it.

They sent me to a six-week instructor school where I eventually became fairly comfortable presenting in front of my nine fellow students. In addition to numerous short talks, we had to give a 50 minute presentation every Friday. I remember walking up and down the driveway of our rented home practicing my presentations. I graduated from the school on a Friday and taught my first real class the next Monday at 6 a.m. Because we didn’t get our final diploma until we were evaluated by the instructor from our instructor school, he came to my first class. My supervisor and his supervisor also showed up. Not only that, the Standardization and Evaluation Team, consisting of four people, happened to randomly pick my classroom that day to visit and evaluate. There I was, scared to death with 36 students whom I had never met, and an entire back row of people who were there to evaluate me. Back then we wore white smocks to protect our uniform from chalk dust. I was shaking so badly that I had to have someone else button the smock for me. The lesson was a 50 minute lecture on Soviet aircraft fighter tactics. My mouth was like paste. I felt like I was shaking as if I had epilepsy. I don’t remember seeing anything but a blur in front of me. Every evaluator said I had excellent eye contact with the students. Huh? I really didn’t want to continue doing that. It was going to be a long three or four years.

However, gradually over a fairly short period of time a strange thing began to happen. I started to enjoy it. I really liked it when I saw the light of understanding coming on in the eyes of my students. I was helping them learn and I was making a difference. Wow! Our school at Goodfellow AFB had classes going 24 hours a day and we rotated our shifts so everyone had to work days, evenings and the midnight shift at some point. Now, to keep student’s attention at two or three o’clock in the morning takes some work and you learn quickly how to be upbeat and creative.

When I first joined the Air Force, it was because the draft was breathing down my neck and I really didn’t want to be in the Army sloshing around the jungles of Viet Nam. My idea was to go in, do my four years and try to get out in one piece. But now, here I was enjoying my job -- not only overseas working as a Russian linguist, but now teaching others how to do the job. I also realized it was an important mission and I really was serving my country as I knew the Soviet Union at that time was a much larger threat to our security than was Viet Nam. Because of that and some other things going on within the family, I ended up reenlisting and spent a total of 24 years in the service. I was stationed at Goodfellow a total of four times and I retired as a Chief Master Sergeant (E9) and my last assignment was at Goodfellow AFB as the Superintendent of the East European Linguist Training Division. I had trainers from all four branches of the service under me with over 300 students in class at any given time.

From the early 70’s on I was involved in training in some capacity for all but a one year period and even then, I still taught Sunday School classes to adults (but that is quite a different style from any of the other training I have done). I trained in the military; as a probation officer I was the local department’s training officer (as an additional duty); I trained probation officers within the Texas Department of Criminal Justice; and now am finishing up as a trainer with the Texas Department of State Health Services training risk reduction specialists and other staff within community-based organizations and county health departments who work in the area of HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis, and STDs.

And so, 36 years of being a paid trainer came to an end this past week with my last class. I was really hoping it would be a good class to finish with. I have only had two “classes from Hell” – one when I taught probation officers and one when I was teaching with the Health Department. Both were supervisor courses. But each class has its own personality and some are better than others. My next to last class in June was pretty flat. It was a counseling course and they were just a very quiet group and the energy level was low. The folks were fine individually, but they just didn’t want to participate in discussion during class. It seemed like a long week. I figured it was God just telling me it was OK to leave and I wouldn’t miss it very much.

I literally prayed that this last class would be a good, positive experience to finish my career. It didn’t start well. The hotel was one of the poorer ones I have stayed in for business. Very small, old and not kept up well. The automated telephone wake-up call came over an hour early so I relied on the clock-radio alarm. Somehow the radio station from the night before disappeared and it wasn’t on a station so I overslept. I wasn’t late, but it was still a very rushed morning trying to prepare. I said, “OK Lord, I get the message that it is time to retire, but please help the class to be a good one.”

I put a lot of effort into that first day to keep the energy level high and they responded fantastically. The class was wonderful!!! I could not have asked for a better group of people. The participants were engaged, talkative, funny, and supportive. They put full effort into the learning experience. At the end of the course they each give a ten minute presentation and they did a wonderful job. Sadly, one fellow was not able to complete the class as his father was taken to the hospital the last morning and he left to be with him. My back was hurting quite a bit during class and I tried sitting down some (the back doctor has told me not to be on my feet for more than ten minutes at a time), but I just couldn’t stay seated. First, that always seems unnatural to me and second I could feel the energy level start to slip and I didn’t want that to happen. I figured I would pay for it this weekend. But I have been fine! I am usually running on adrenaline in the classroom and then when I get back to my room in the evening, I collapse. This time was no exception. However, that sure beats collapsing in the classroom. It is never good when the instructor starts snoring in class.

The course I was training was Presentation and Facilitation Skills. One of our other instructors, Mary McIntosh, went with me to learn the course. It is one I had written several years ago, but only I have ever trained it. How appropriate to finish my career helping others to better talk to groups and present material to classes. I know I will miss it but I also know I am OK with my decision and it is the right one. I am just so grateful to God and to each member of the class that this last time was a positive experience.

Now, I have to go into the office this next week and start sorting papers and cleaning off my desk and cubicle shelves. Anyone have a shovel I can borrow?

One Year Anniversary Since Chemo Therapy

I guess I could toast my anniversary, but I don't drink and besides, that is rather a strange anniversary, but certainly one worth celebrating.

I went to the oncologist Monday but I have been waiting to post because I thought I would have some other blood test results back. However, they aren’t back yet so I will post this as I had promised a couple of folks I would get a post here by today. My blood tests this time were decidedly mixed results. He didn’t test the IGg level this time, so I don’t know what that is. My white blood count and my red blood count were both in the normal range for the first time since my last round of chemo, one year ago today! I am not anemic.

However, my absolute lymphocyte count continues to slowly climb in the area above the normal range (lymphocytosis), my platelets continue to decline (thrombocytopenia) and dropped to 90 (90,000/mm3) and my lymph nodes continue to slowly increase everywhere (lymphadenopathy). So, this technically puts me into Rai Stage IV of the four stages of the disease or stage C of the Binet system that has stages A, B, C. But this only sounds worse than it is. As they say, “Been there done that.”

“Rai: Stage IV CLL is characterized by absolute lymphocytosis and thrombocytopenia (<100,000/mm3)>

Binet: Clinical stage C CLL is characterized by anemia and/or thrombocytopenia regardless of the number of areas of lymphoid enlargement (Rai stages III and IV).”

Again, they don’t treat numbers, only symptoms. My disease primarily presents as the lymphoma portion so my blood tests don’t usually look too bad. Even before treatment, my white count and lymphocyte count never did get too terribly high. To show you that my doctor isn’t all that concerned, he is skipping my August appointment and I don’t go back until September. If my platelet count gets to about 50 he will order another bone marrow biopsy to see what is going on in there.

I did start the testosterone replacement therapy. I am using the gel that I rub into my skin once a day. However, I am starting at a very low dose. At the end of the first week I thought I saw a very big difference because I actually had energy over the weekend even though it had been a week I was out of town. I was thrilled! But, it didn’t last long. Cheryl thinks my energy level is better than it had been and I guess it is, but I don’t feel as energetic as I did that first weekend. I still nap in the evening and during the day on weekends. Someone asked about sleep apnea, but I don’t see any signs of that. I sleep wonderfully during the night, rarely snore, and rarely wake up at all until morning. I don’t even turn over very much and the covers are rarely disturbed very much.

Normal free testosterone level is 50 – 250 pg/ml and mine was 21. I am on a very, very low dose of the gel, in fact only one quarter of the dosage listed on the package. My doctor didn't want to increase it yet until they checked my level now. That is the test that isn’t back. The therapy can raise blood sugar (I have noticed that a little) and there is some indication that it can have negative effects in the area of prostate cancer. There is controversy that it actually causes it, but there is little doubt that if you have prostate cancer the therapy will accelerate the disease. Of course having CLL/SLL puts you at risk for other cancers anyway, so it is walking a tight rope.

I now have another ear infection. All last month my right ear would start to ache and then just as I was about to decide to go to the doctor, it would stop. This happened three or four times. Monday afternoon, after my oncology appointment it really started to hurt and it hadn’t done so in over a week. So I made an appointment with my primary care doctor. I now have some antibiotic drops to use for ten days. Umm, yes, I know my oncology doctor said I would do the IGg infusions if I had another infection. I guess I will let him know in September. HA!

Only two more full weeks at work! Technically I don’t retire until August 31st, but I only have to work one day in August as I still have enough annual leave left to take off the whole month. When I was first diagnosed, I was so fortunate that I had so much leave in the bank. I had rarely missed a day ill in the years I worked for the state, so I had over 700 hours of sick time saved up. I also always kept the maximum number of carry over annual leave days saved. I did this just because of my age I thought if I ever had a heart attack or some other major illness, I would need the time. I am thankful I did this. Even with all of the doctor’s appointments, chemo treatments and going home early because of not feeling well, it wasn’t until this February that I exhausted all my sick leave (I still get 8 hours each month). However, I have 196 hours of vacation time still left. Hurray. I only have one more class to teach and that is next week. I will be in Fort Worth and it is a course I wrote. This will be very strange because I have been teaching since 1971 when they made me an instructor in the Air Force. I am looking forward to it.

On another note, please keep David E. and his wife Mary in your prayers. He is my “cyber friend” that I have often written about. His advanced prostate cancer, which had spread to his bones, is on the march again and it looks like he may be facing chemo treatments now. He has been trying to avoid that as long as possible by using other treatments that have helped but now have seemingly stopped working, or at least not working as well. He will have to make a decision at his next appointment in August. Starting chemo is a scary time for anyone!

As always, I appreciate your prayers, your concern, your comments here and the many I receive by email. Knowing people care is more important than I ever realized before. Thank you.

I know, I know, I am a Lousy Lymphomaniac!

Well, my good friend, Paula Dunn, asked, "Has your broken arm healed yet?" Ha! I wish I could say that is my excuse for not posting, but it's not. So why haven't I? I guess I was just sick of Leukemia for awhile. I dropped out of reading my ACOR list, my cllforum, my CLLCfriends forum (CLL Christian friends), and the various blogs I kept up with. I guess I just needed a mental holiday. I have been feeling somewhat this way since early last fall when we went on the cruise and I barely gave cancer a thought, but this has been a particularly strong feeling since the first of the year.

Having read numerous other blogs, I have noticed that a good percentage of the folks did the same thing at some point; obviously not all, but quite a few. I just recently celebrated my two year cancerversary and two years is a long time to have cancer constantly on your mind. I think I am out of that mood now. For the last week I have pretty much caught up on my forum reading, I am about to tackle the ACOR list and I started reading some of the blogs I used to check every day. It is strange because I never forgot about any of the folks and those fellow blogger and forum members remained in my prayers. I would pick up my laptop in the evening and think I would go do some reading, but then would end up just mindlessly playing solitaire before heading off to bed.

OK, I will get up off the psych couch and catch you up some on what has been happening in my world. The coughing from the pneumonia finally went away, but during that time my ears had become infected. They ended up with fluid and stopped up. The infection got cleared up, but the blockage in my left ear has remained since January. We tried several medications but nothing cleared it up. I finally got in to the ENT specialist today. I do have fluid (duh!), and hearing loss in my left ear. However, he really doesn't want to take any drastic measures yet as he is afraid of giving me an infection. He wants to wait a couple of more months at least. So, I am back to using the nose spray hoping to clear it up.

Since I last posted I have had two blood tests. The February tests looked pretty good and my neutrophils (infection fighters) were up in the normal range for the first time in a couple of years -- however, that was because I was still fighting infections, and that was good because it meant I was getting an immune response. The end of March's blood tests didn't look quite as good and everything but platelets got a little bit worse and the neutrophils dropped quite a bit. The good news was that platelets were all the way up to 129! The results of the CT Scan showed the lymph nodes are growing again -- some in the stomach are almost pre-chemo size -- and the neck ones are all back, but not up to the size they were before chemo. Again, my main complaint is being tired. I was only out of town training one week so far this year. It was a couple of weeks ago and the night after I got back, I slept 16 hours and the next night slept another 11 hours -- a great way to spend a weekend. So you can see why I am looking forward to retirement. I will miss training greatly, but it just wipes me out too much. Last week I asked my oncologist why, since the blood tests look relatively good, why am I getting so many infections and why am I so tired? He just looked at me and said, "Because you have leukemia!" Oh, OK, I forgot. He is going to check my IGG levels in case that is why I am getting multiple infections. However, he is getting more and more confident that it may be quite a long time before more chemo because my absolute lymphocyte count is holding really well.

Now, for my most exciting news. I saw my Endocrinologist this morning for my diabetes and have added yet another medication to my pharmacy. (I currently take 14 pills a day, plus the nose spray.) This one is cool, though. It is made from lizard spit!!! Well, she said saliva, but it really is spit. And not just any old lizard. No sir, it is the beloved Gila Monster. How many of you can say you inject yourself with Lizard Spit???? I always wanted to be unique.

Yep, now I am part lizard (when they were growing up, my kids already thought I was part monster when I was around their boy friends). And I inject it into my stomach twice a day, just before breakfast and just before dinner. Since I am already part mouse from the Rituxan infusions, and now that I am part lizard, I believe my inner lizard and inner mouse have genetically combined and I am now a -- louse! And that, boys and girls, is why I am a lousy lymphomaniac.

From information I found on the web: "The Gila monster is a rare lizard with deadly venom in its saliva. Researchers have used the saliva to develop a new drug called exenatide. It’s injected twice a day to help type 2 diabetics keep their blood sugar under control.
“We think that the effect of the drug has something to do with the fact that this animal eats two, maybe three or four times a year,” says diabetologist John Buse, M.D., Ph.D., of UNC Diabetes Care Center in Chapel Hill.
A hormone in the lizard’s saliva slows its metabolism between meals and keeps its blood sugar low when it does eat. It seems to have the same effect on patients with type 2 diabetes.
Since Gila monsters are at risk of becoming an endangered species, exenatide is now made synthetically and not from the lizard."

OK, so I am only synthetically part lizard, but hey, just be careful next time you invite me to dinner. Only serve me raw eggs, please:

On a very serious note, today was the horrendous shootings at Virginia Tech. The talking heads on TV are all trying to explain what happened. But how can anyone explain such senselessness? Please join me in praying for the wounded survivors; those who were in the buildings and witnessed the horror; the students, faculty and staff of Virginia Tech; and especially the family and loved ones of those who lost their lives.

I'm Still Here!

Sorry for the long silence again. So what has been happening? Last time I posted I had that pesky itching rash. It eventually cleared up, although it kept trying to come back, but the prescription cream worked really well. It has been several weeks now since it tried to reappear.

Since I last posted, several important dates passed. One was the first anniversary of this blog. When I started it, I posted every day and it was quite therapeutic. What's happening now? Not sure, but that is the subject of my next post which I have been formulating in my mind. December 23rd was Cheryl and my 39th wedding anniversary. For the first time in many years, we actually went out to a real restaurant that evening. Previous recent years have included, cereal at home, KFC take out, hamburger, nothing, and Luby's cafeteria. We really know how to celebrate! Actually, Cheryl is usually so frazzled trying to get ready for Christmas that she is too tired to go anywhere. This year, although we didn't even start shopping until that week (totally unheard of as the shopping usually starts in January and lasts all year), the afternoon of the 23rd we were totally ready and all gifts were wrapped. That has never happened before. It wasn't until that morning we were even sure if we were having our traditional Christmas Eve dinner with the family here as both girls' plans were up in the air. As it turned out, we even were having extra guests -- Cheri's in-laws. So I went to the store, bought a huge turkey and fixings for 13 people. Christmas Eve and Christmas day was a wonderful time of family and celebrating the birth of our Lord. Of course New Year's was the usual -- I watched on TV the ball in Times Square drop and Cheryl went to bed early. She even slept through all the fireworks in the neighborhood.

In December, our work put on our HIV conference in Austin. We had speakers from around the world and about 900 participants, I think. I was in charge of the AIDS memorial display of quilt panels. I ordered 22 of the 12'x12' panels and had them displayed in a giant circle in an empty ballroom. Each 12'x12' section has six 3'x6' individual panels made by loved ones of those who have died as a result of AIDS. Each one is totally unique and often very touching. We had panels from celebrities, men, women, boys, girls and infants. Very sobering. In the center of the room I had an oval table with two large round red bowls with floating candles and a large white pillar candle in the middle on a tall candle holder. A red ribbon was on the white pillar candle. In the center of the room were two couches and two easy chairs. It really was quite moving and a very nice memorial.

I was really late putting up the Christmas lights this year. They were only up for two weeks and I didn't have them all out either. I am the Clark Griswold of the neighborhood with all my lights and they normally go up on Thanksgiving weekend. This year was a little more "normal." They still looked nice.

So, what has been happening health wise? Glad you asked. My blood tests in the beginning of this month looked very good; my platelets even came back over 100 again, to 105. So I had another pass on chemo. However, since my lymph nodes are swelling again, including in my neck, my hematologist/oncologist ordered another CT Scan -- sigh. I'll be glowing in the dark before long. I won't know the results of that until I see him again on February 8th. Right after I saw him, I had an attack of what I assume was shingles without the actual skin outbreak -- yes that can happen. It was on my left arm and I couldn't wear my watch and even clothes hurt it. It was from my wrist to nearly my elbow on the underside. It would wake me up in the night hurting so badly. It also felt like electric shocks going through it quite often. Shingles are inflammation of the nerves. I was teaching a week long class that week here in Austin. Then, as that was clearing up I started catching a cold. At the same time we had a really bad ice storm that shut everything down for three days. I didn't go to the doctor because I was sure it was just a cold. I stayed home from work but still didn't go to the doctor as Cheryl was urging. Of course, by the time the weekend came, I was a lot worse. So, Monday morning I finally went to the doctor as Cheryl kept saying. Should have listened to her -- I hate it when she's right, ha! I had pneumonia in my right lung and bronchitis in my left. The doc prescribed a brand new broad spectrum antibiotic that is only once a day for seven days. By the second day on the meds, my fever went away and I have been feeling better, thank you Lord. I really was feeling pretty rotten for awhile. My cough is getting better every day. I went to church today and I will be going to work tomorrow. I haven't been in the office for three weeks now. Funny thing is, I have no desire to go in, either, and I do like my job. Oh well.

And that brings me to another decision that I haven't posted here yet. I am planning on retiring this coming September. I will be 62 in August and eligible for social security reduced rate. I had planned on working until 66 and collecting full social security at that time. However, since this pesky disease raised it's ugly head, I decided to retire now while I can enjoy it. I like teaching and training, but when I come home from being gone a week, I am just way too wiped out. Standing all that time also hurts my back, too. (Oh yea, I had another bone density scan and the osteoporosis is quite a bit worse too -- "severe danger" of spinal fracture and "increased danger" of hip fracture. So besides the Fosamax, I am also on calcium supplements. That brings me up to 14 pills a day, and I'm not even on chemo! -- whine, whine, whine, whine)

So, what will I be doing in retirement? If possible, I would like to work part time for a local HIV/AIDS project and do counseling and testing a couple of days a week -- what I am training folks to do now. Also, Cindy's young lady that watches my grandson Jonathan and feeds their dogs when Cindy is traveling will be going away to college. So, I will take over those duties. Also, when she and Corbin get their RV and boat storage business off the ground, I may take care of that for them initially until it starts to make enough money that Cindy can quit her job. I also want to do some fishing. I have taken the grandsons a couple of times this year, but I really would like to be able to do it more often. Cheryl is also looking forward to me being a full time househusband and taking care of the house. We share those duties now, so it won't be much of a transition. I don't think I will be getting bored at all. We worked out the finances and are pretty sure we can do it. Just to be sure, starting in February we are planning to live only on what we think I will be getting in September. We think it will "only" be a $12,000 dollar a year drop. Now when Cheryl retires in a couple of years, that is when the miracles will have to happen. We shall see.

Cindy had her surgery, and although the recovery was a little slow for her, she is fine now. Cheri is still dealing with some things. She did have another ultasound a couple of weeks ago and although the possible tumor didn't shrink, it didn't grow either. She is still having a great deal of difficulty sleeping as a result of some medications to the point she even went to a sleep clinic last week to spend the night. Although she was hooked up to all kinds of wires, she said she slept five hours, the best night's sleep she had in a long time. She asked if she could come back the next night -- ha!

Well off to bed as I need to look awake tomorrow at work.