Thursday, June 29, 2006

So Much Pain

I have mentioned this before, but it seems like ever since my diagnosis, over a year ago, I am seeing more and more people suffering with the effects of cancer -- all kinds. When I went to San Angelo back in March, one of the ladies I was working with was just told that day that she might have breast cancer. She was waiting for a schedule to have a biopsy and she still didn't have the appointment by the time I left at the end of the week. Obviously she was upset. I thought for sure I wrote about that here and how she continued to do the training. However, I can't find it in my post, other than a quick mention. Perhaps I wrote about it in my patient's forum. Anyway, I wrote to her a couple of times but never heard anything back until a couple of weeks ago. She did have breast cancer, had a masectomy and is now undergoing chemo. Her first round was horrible for her as she had very bad nausea which even powerful nausea pill couldn't control. Last week she began to lose her hair which really has bummed her out. I have met several people lately in similar situations and it is so very sad. Several of the folks in my patient's forum are not doing very well and, ironically, most of the group of folks that founded the forum are all currently struggling with treatment decisions.

However, the very, very saddest thing occurred this week. A wonderful member of our forum experienced a real tragedy. Her beautiful little 8-year-old niece, Hanna, died from cancer. This little girl put up a three year battle having suffered through many, many rounds of chemo, radiation and two bone marrow transplants. Late last year she was sent home from St. Jude's Children's hospital when there was nothing more they could do. Hanna had a very special relationship with her aunt. Closer than I have ever witnessed and aunt and niece to have. Hanna said they were "cancer sisters."

Last Saturday, after a dream or a vision, she told her family:

"I just can't wait to get to Heaven and ride my big white horse." She said she named her white horse Salvation. Good name, I think!

I am copying what her aunt Debra (but Hanna had always called her Aunt Bebbie) posted to our leukemia forum the other evening. Debra is the lady with leukemia. I am posting two pictures, also. Hanna apparently had been a thin, pretty girl, but the steroids just puffed up her body. I think she still looks beautiful in the pictures. The first is from this May when Hanna received an Awanna's award at her church. The second was taken this Saturday. Debra said that even the dog knew what was happening and was not her hyper self and just stayed there quietly for hours in the crook of Hanna's leg. Debra wrote often of Hanna and posted many pictures. We really came to know this little girl through her aunt. She was quite special.

Her is what Deb wrote last Monday:

Our precious Hannah went to be with the Lord this morning at 9:25. I got to go be with her right after she died. She looked so peaceful and like an angel laying there. I can just see her running into God's loving arms. I already miss her terribly and can't imagine life without her. She has taught me so much in her 8 short years here on earth and has touched so many people's lives here on earth. She has brought me more joy than words can ever say. We had a bond that even I can't describe. She was left a little money 2 years ago when my brother died and she gave $1000.00 dollars to help start a church in a small village in Haiti. She also sent them clothes, toys, jewelry, etc. She had the most giving heart of anyone I have ever seen. Her main wish was for everyone she knew and loved to be saved so she could see them in heaven. I am heart broken but also so glad she is free from pain and now I have the BEST guardian angel. God Bless you all for your prayers and kindness to us during this time.

Hanna told her dad last week, "Daddy as soon as I get to Heaven I am gonna shout GLORY and sing Jesus a song."

Hanna's service was this evening and Aunt "Bebbie" just posted this on our forum:

The service tonight was such a celebration of Hannah's life.Hundreds came and her Drs. and nurses were there and the most beautiful flowers everywhere. She looked like an angel and made such a difference in my life and so many others. I will miss her greatly.

God saw you were getting tired
And a cure was not to be.
So he put His arms around you
And whispered "Come to me"
With tearful eyes
We watched you suffer,
And saw you fade away,
And although we love you dearly
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands now rest.
God broke our hearts
To prove to us
He only takes the BEST!

Please pray for this family as they deal with the loss of Hanna. She touched many lives including those of us who are members of the CLL Forum who only knew her through the many postings of her beloved Aunt "Bebbie."


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A sad but touching post. I cannot think of anything that would be worse than losing a child.

The saying 'life isn't fair' definitely applies in this case. I don't know many parents who wouldn't trade places with their sick children so they could live normal, healthy lives.

Cancer is truly a killer, and although there has been progress it is too slow and too long in coming.

Blessings for sweet Hanna.

Debbie Light said...

John,

You touched my heart with your post on Hannah and I.Our church is going to raise money to build a Hannah Grace Broyles church in Haiti.Since she had helped start another church there,I know she is smiling down from Heaven about this.
I am having trouble facing the reality of it but with your prayers and God's help I will get through it.I know I am a better person because of Hannah and her light will shine forever!
"Aunt Bebbie"

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